Thursday, 22 January 2009

When i lay at night...all these things come along

I went to bed last night thinking of a multitude of things and playing out scenes in my head. I do that a lot...roll out a whole theatre well rehearse play of a show spectacle. I dramatise it..some times i roll in a bit of old Shakespearean English to complete. I am much of a escaptionist, I hate confrontations unless they are in my head. So anyway, back to my thought. Its been almost one whole year no sex and my loins are really starting to burn a hole in my lacy pants ( i have a thing for nice underwear, buy a matching set every month, sometimes two or three). Ooh as i was saying, my loins need putting out and i can't just jump any hapless man like a hyena on heat, i might injure him or myself for that matter. Need to do something about it because its affecting my work. Yesterday while in a meeting with some colleagues about the risk assessment of some project of some sort, i really wasn't listening, went only because i was volunteered in my absence and there was a free cake trolley. While unashamedly stuffing my face with cream cakes i kept staring at all the men's crotches..bad form i know but no bulges in sight...conculsion..all the men in the risk assessment team have small willies..oh well, at least they get paid very well, i mean, imagine you being in possession of a tiny ornament called penis and you have no money to add insult to injury.

After work i went to the cinema on my own...the ticket girl..with lots of zits on her forehead kept giving me "i pity you smile" all through out. I decided to freak her out by staring at her without blinking, she soon dropped that stupid smile and wouldn't even look at me as i collected my tickets..i purposely let my hand go over hers for dramatic effect..she flinched. I did my joker laugh in my head and went to watch my movie.

Got home and watched gossip girl..god i hate myself for even typing this, i know..i watch that mind draining show..its like admitting to fancying Ozzy Osbourne but they wear such pretty dresses and i am a girl after all, we have been known to sell our bodies and souls for shoes and handbags. Lucifer doesn't even have to use sex to get us...a nice pair of patent killer jimmy shoes and Gucci hand bag..the bigger the better gets us in that train down town to the nice warmth of the underworld.

I got into bed naked under my sheet...not by choice, had no clean nightwear. Insomnia set in and i decided to call my brother in the states knowing fully well he was asleep. He picked up the phone and grunted at me to stop calling him at 3am in the morning. I told him i was pregnant and didn't know who the father was. I am not, i just wanted to wake him up. He went quiet for a few seconds and said "you're so fucked, mum will incinerate your ass"!! With him woken up, we spoke for 20 minutes about his girlfriend..the one he wants to get rid of but is too skurred!! coward. Actually i shouldn't be too hard on him..she is VERY scary, i met her last Christmas and she has this permanent eerie smile constantly..even when we watched gone with the wind...everyone cries after gone with the wind. Anyway his there he must sleep.

My brother stipulated...yep, that's the word he used..little shyte! He stipulated that i must get a man this year, as if they sell them on strings at reduced prices in sainsbury's. I told him to get off my case, he insisted..his word again...he can be a cock too, anyways he says i must address the issue or i will end up alone a spinster with my cats. I don't have cats, although i am thinking of getting one...i told him before i get a boyfriend i must get laid first, then i will be ready

He told me to get off his phone...i did but not before i told him that his girlfriend had emailed me wedding gown pictures!!! hahahahah.

So back to my initial midnight thoughts...what i was thinking of was how much i would love to have been cuddled right there and then. I fell asleep and woke up dreaming of being chased by cats the size of ponies. Go figure.


  1. lol @ the risk management guys and @ the theater ticket taker. Very funny story and well written.

  2. brother blog-thanks for stopping by...i took pleasure from both episodes...whats a girl to do!

    dabizniz-why thank you..hope you're keeping ok, will drop by later for my daily read up.

  3. hmmm...
    am kinda speechless and dizzy too.

    uv not had any in a year??? tsk tsk.

    and about d crotch ting, mayb they're wearin extra tight underwear. (didnt want to give anything away mayb!)

    watchin movies alone isnt a good sign, being chased by huge cats isnt either..
    i think mayb u shd consult sm cele priests lol!

    hey if u need hookin up, like i told flabby

    "hey! i can hook u up?

    nice hot bros.
    lagos, abj, london, birmingham, northampton, aberdeen, rhode island, illinois...

    just giv d word!"


  4. lmao @ cats the size of ponies...
    Don't break my head if I dont make sense, I am typing this at 3am, all messed up...woke up and suddenly feel lonely too...Wish I had a big brother I could bug...I dont know his babe but you make her sound scarey enough for me to want to pass on that pleasure.....

    still laughing my ass off at the comment u left on my page, Afrobabe does not suffer small things easily especially if u led me to believe it was

    Now I def cant

  5. Lmao @ cats the size of.....
    Off to work will lave a better comment later today!!!Thanks for stopping by mine.....

  6. hahaaa!!! good for the silly ticket girl, i do the same myself and pple think its weird....but somehow going to the movies alone makes me feel...strong i cant explain it.
    Lmao @ his girlfriend emailing you wedding pics, love d way u get along with ur bro, its very cute!!

  7. teebay: Those men must be wearing iron pants..nothing was visible!.
    I love going to the movies..sometimes there is no one to go with, i can't stay indoors cuz of that can i???

    So you wanna hook me problems bro..send me details, i am game! Please i want strapping men with nice pouches..visible ones!!

    afrobabe: Ain't it a bitch when you wake up in the middle of the night and there is no one there but tangled sheets and just you...i hate that time in the morning. I had many a fights..ok let me not lie..i had many a self pitying wailing sessions with God asking him to drop my prince charming or else!! lol. I think i should start praying in a non threathening manner...maybe thats the problem.

    I Love those penises on your blog..what fine specimens they make xx

    I don't know why people just don't get it...i love going to the movies on my one to argue with..nice massive popcorn and icecream with a gallon of coke to tag along...ahh bliss.

    I do get along with my bro..he is actually younger than me but our roles have mum is baffled by this but secretly she's happy that at least one of her children have successfully takled puberty.
    Thanks for dropping by xx

  8. amazed at you. i guess this is you being you. let me be me. Get busy and stop ur nasty habit. though i wish i had an older brother to bug, a real one. i can be a right pain!

  9. So gossip girl is like fancying Ozzy? Thanks for telling me that, I definitely won't ever be watching that show, then. lol!

  10. poor baby! i love gossip girl though! there is nothing bad about it now lol... pele on the 'horny' steez... we get that 4rm time to time

  11. Tisha
    I have that effect on ppl..i can loan you my brother anytime if you promise to feed him every 4 hours...he is a complete pain in the ass too. Thanks for stopping by xx

    Like the name...nice. Only sharon loves ozzy..she knows something we don't. Thanks for stopping by xx

    Miss love
    Gossip girl is additive..i love it too, its like a bad drug lol! I am beyond horny...feel like i have an affliction upon me now :(

  12. lolllllllll u sure r crazy!!!

    i havent had some in basically a virgin all over again *sighs*

    ur bro sounds just like mine!

  13. ohh, i love gossip girl and am damn proud of it!

  14. Are u sure is cat u dreamt of or a Big P..LOL
    Dont worry you will get a bro who will give u as much cuddles and hmmmm as u want soon.
    Just hang in there.
    Hmmm...I'm gonna be back 4 more.

    And hey stop sizing them bros @ risk mgt up o

  15. I’m Mercy brown by name I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after 4months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. Madurai the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is


Show of hands